


And there's nothing I can do

by Death2Toby



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: First Dates, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 17:50:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13300089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Death2Toby/pseuds/Death2Toby
Summary: In which Steve and Bucky go on a date.





	And there's nothing I can do

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Royal_Ermine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Royal_Ermine/gifts).



> Although it isn't exactly the fluff and cuddling she requested, this is dedicated to Royal _Ermine, who has been so supportive of me. It is not unnoticed, nor unappreciated. Thank you! 
> 
> Spiritual successor to [this!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13249974)
> 
> I'm on [tumblr.](http://joshgrobanismykink.tumblr.com/)

“A date?” Bucky had tried to reel in his surprise before speaking, but it seemed he’d failed on that front. 

“Yeah, why not,” Steve replied, seeming no less enthused. 

“I, I don’t know, Steve,” Bucky didn’t really bother to conceal his nerves now, hoping they would garner him some sympathy in all honesty. He felt bad for that. 

Steve furrowed his brow, looking down at the floor. They’d only been together a week, and while he felt comfortable, perhaps Bucky needed more time to adjust. He knew he shouldn’t pressure his now boyfriend, but he was disappointed all the same. Still, patience had become a strong suit of his by necessity. 

Bucky scooted closer and wrapped his arm around the other man. “If it’s important to you, I’ll do it.”

“Well geez, I wouldn’t want to put you out, Buck,” Steve said, half sarcastically. 

“C’mon, it’ll be fun, right?” Bucky did his best to sound genuine, but fell short. 

“We’ve waited a long time to be together,” Steve said simply. He recalled the past and let it’s implications hang in the air between them. 

Bucky squeezed tighter.

That night, Steve spent his time researching restaurants. Being in New York certainly had it’s advantages in that department. Some of the finest food in the world from what he read. It was overwhelming. He wanted to call Tony, but that would raise questions. Bucky didn’t even want strangers to know about them, much less the other Avengers. A frown tugged at Steve’s lips, but he pressed on. Bucky just had to see for himself what the world was like today, then he would feel at ease. Maybe even proud. 

“Steve, are you coming to bed?” 

The question made him jump. “Yeah, just a minute,” he replied. He finished making the reservation before trailing Bucky down the hall. 

It was still exciting for him, every night that he fell asleep next to the man he’d loved for a lifetime. He hoped that Bucky felt the same way. He was too afraid to ask. 

Saturday was the big day, and Steve could hardly contain himself when he awoke. He was up before Bucky, as always, and set to straightening up the apartment and making breakfast. It was about an hour before he heard the bedroom door open. He tried to act natural, taking a deep breath before Bucky rounded the corner. 

“Good morning,” Steve proclaimed, a bit too loud. 

“Morning,” Bucky responded, his voice gravelly as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. “Breakfast?” 

“Yeah, it’s about done. I can eat with you, but then I have to go.” 

“Go where?” 

“I just have some things to do.” 

Bucky made a face as he tried to take in what seemed to be a lot of information for his still waking brain. He made his way to the table and put his head down until Steve set a plate down in front of him. 

Breakfast was quiet. Steve wolfed down his food before Bucky had finished half of what was in front of him, and was out the door, leaving the other man with a kiss on the cheek. 

It wasn’t until Bucky had finished eating that he was finally conscious enough to question Steve’s odd behavior, and then to wonder where the hell he’d gone. Shit. Dinner tonight. Bucky got up and went to his room. They hadn’t bothered to move his things to the master bedroom yet, not that Bucky had many things to speak of. He opened the door, prepared for the small scale mental breakdown that would surely come when he inevitably found nothing but T-shirts and hoodies in his closet. When he opened the door, however, he found that Steve had taken care of the problem for him. 

Laid out on the bed was a deep red knit sweater, a navy button down, dark wash jeans, and a note.

_I hope these are alright. See you tonight._

_-Steve_

“Christ, Rogers,” Bucky mumbled to himself, smiling. 

Bucky had no idea how Steve had managed to kill an entire day. He sat on the couch getting antsier by the minute, anxiety tying his stomach in so many knots he wasn’t sure he’d be able to eat. He took a breath, trying to steady himself. Steve wanted this, for whatever reason, and by God he would get it. It was the least Bucky could do, after everything. 

There was a knock on the door, which instantly crushed whatever resolve Bucky had begun building. 

“You have a key, you know,” Bucky shouted, hoisting himself off the couch. 

“Come on, I’m trying to get the full experience here,” Steve yelled through the door. Bucky could hear his smile in his voice. 

Sure enough, Bucky opened the door to find Steve beaming. His hair is was freshly cut and neatly gelled and he wore a blue button down with the sleeves rolled up and khakis. 

“These are for you,” Steve said, handing Bucky a modest arrangement of flowers in a vase. 

“Really,” Bucky asked of Steve, the flush of his cheeks betraying his sarcastic tone. 

“You started it,” Steve replied, waiting for Bucky to put his flowers on the counter. “Shall we?” Steve’s cheeks must have hurt already, the smile had not left his face for a second. 

The pair stepped into the hall, locked the door, and went on their way. Steve seemed unsure of what to do with his hands, eventually, placing them into his pockets.

“You look nice,” he blurted, suddenly nervous. 

“Well, you made sure of that didn’t you,” Bucky joked. “But really… thanks. So do you.” 

They smiled at one another. Steve took a long stride to beat Bucky to the door, holding it for him. They entered a car that Steve had arranged for them, and suddenly, the reality of the situation settled squarely on Bucky’s shoulders, a weight that shouldn’t have been as heavy as it was. A date shouldn’t be scary to a man who’d been through what he had, but nevertheless…

“Are you okay,” Steve asked softly. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Bucky assured, smiling even though he knew Steve would see through it. 

“Bucky, we can do this another time, it’s okay.” 

The out was tempting, but Bucky knew Steve would be crushed, for all he’d say otherwise. “I’m fine, Steve, really.” 

The rest of the ride was silent. Bucky’s mind continued racing until they had arrived at the restaurant and been seated. Bucky scanned the room. It was dimly lit, the bar in the center decorated with blue and green neon lights. A small LED centerpiece brightened their table. Most notably, every seat was filled and they were far away from the nearest exit. Bucky shifted.

“This place opened just a view months ago, but it had good reviews.” Steve said, knowing that to bring up the tension he saw on the other man’s face would make it worse. Steve reached for Bucky’s hand which rested in a tightly closed fist on the table, but stopped himself, resting his hands in his lap as their waitress arrived at the table. 

She introduced herself pleasantly. Steve ordered wine and an appetizer as Bucky searched her features for judgment that he did not find. 

Still, he couldn’t shake the notion that he was in danger, no matter how irrational he knew it was. He could feel Steve watching him, unsure what to do or say and no doubt regretting this idea altogether. 

For the first time since they’d left the apartment, Bucky forced himself to meet Steve’s eyes. Disappointment, apology, pity, uncertainty. He had expected all of that, but more than that, there was a question in the soft blue that cut Bucky to his core. 

The room seemed to melt away, leaving only Bucky, and the man across from him. He recalled the years spent wishing more than anything that he could take Steve by the hand, go dancing, hold each other close under the 4th of July fireworks. Bucky had been broken and put together so many times now, he wasn’t that same lovestruck kid anymore. But he did love Steve, who for all he’d changed, was just the same as he’d ever been. 

What was more important than that? 

“Bucky…” Steve spoke quietly, but Bucky jumped nonetheless. “I’m sorry. I shouldn't have made you do this.” 

“No, Steve, I’m sorry,” he replied. He inhaled before continuing. “I’m sorry that I let you forget for even a second what you mean to me.” 

Steve’s head tilted as he tried to make sure he was hearing correctly. Before Bucky could continue, their waitress returned. Steve looked up at her and smiled. As she poured their wine, Bucky seized a moment of bravery, placing his hand over Steve’s. The glint of surprise in his eyes far outweighed Bucky’s nerves, and he couldn’t help but smile. 

Steve glanced away again to thank their server. When they were alone again, he cleared his throat and spoke. “Buck, I never wanted to make you uncomfortable, I didn’t mean to push you.” 

“Steve, this has been the happiest week of my life. For once, everything feels right. I have what I’ve always wanted. You. And I don’t care who knows it.” He laced their fingers together. “It just took me a little while to figure it out.” 

Steve beamed that smile again, the one that made Bucky blush. “Besides, I won the heart of Captain America, I think that’s pretty impressive.”

“Shut up.” 

The two of them enjoyed their wine and food, talking the night away as though they were sitting together at home. Bucky wouldn’t have noticed the stares if there were any. When the waitress asked how they would like the bill, Steve replied “together” and the simple word filled Bucky’s stomach with butterflies. 

After the bill was paid, they left hand in hand. As they walked through the city, both of them were thankful, for the first time, that they existed in this modern world, where love was love, where they could be really and truly together. And, where you could get delicious fresh baked goods at 1 a.m.

“Thank you, Buck,” Steve said sincerely as their car pulled up in front of the apartment building. 

“Don’t mention it,” Bucky answered with a smile. He got out and met Steve on the sidewalk. Just before they reached the door, Bucky stopped, grabbed Steve by the waist and kissed him softly, slowly. They held each other for a while, just because they could. 

“So, I know it’s only our first date, but do you want to come inside,” Steve joked. 

Bucky laughed and rolled his eyes. “Keep it up, Rogers.”


End file.
